You know you are a nerd...

when you catch yourself thinking you wish you could say a smiley
      - Female Nerd

when you can remember your 10 favourite URLs but not your own zip code
      - Female Nerd

when your homepage layout has won prizes but you can't read your own handwriting
      - Female Nerd

when DOS was your favourite toy as a child
      - Female Nerd

when your family e-mails you because that's the only way to get in touch with you
      - Female Nerd

when your first thought isn't small and furry when you hear the word "mouse"
      - Female Nerd

when you hear the little "ding" of the system chimes during your dreams
      - Hugues

when you tell someone your name and end it with "dot com"
      - Ron

when someone mentions java and coffee is the second thing that goes through your mind
      - Stephen

when you wake up at night for some reason and think : "Great! I've got more time to get connected!"
      - Hugues

when your friends at school ask you "what did you do on your weekend?" and you have to reply played on the computer, or try and make up a lie that you had a wonderful time out with your friends...
      - Alicia

when you are asked "do you have a boyfriend?" and you have to answer: "Well, yes, I have a lives in Calgary, the other, Minnesota, the other New Zealand.."
      - Alicia

when all you can muster up for a good conversation with your friends is "So what do you think about that" or "Have you seen my hpage recently?"
      - Alicia

when the only sexual experiences you've made ended with a .com or a .org.
      - Jack07

when your fingers are stronger than your arms and your only tan originates from watching a monitor glow.
      - Jack07

when you hear a joke and start show your amusement by saying *rotflol*
      - Jack07

when asked to give your address, you don't think twice before rattling off your e-mail address instead of your postal address.
      - Tine

when you suddenly need a calculator, and too lazy to go get your own, start looking for a JAVA calculator on the net. [And find it ! - Personal experience]
      - CeeJay

when you flunk english at school by writing your exam paper in HTML.
      - Truls

when you make a mistake putting on your makeup and immediately want to do a Ctrl-Z. (Undo)
      - Pam

when your family offers to put a sleeping bag next to your computer. [It happened on one of my last three in a row all nighters *(Chatting & doing my page)*]
      - The NightScribe

when all of your friends have @ in their names.
      - Jonathan Crowe

when the TV stopped working a month ago and you didn't notice.
      - Jonathan Crowe

when your dog has his own homepage.
      - Jonathan Crowe

when you have a network in your spare bedroom.
      - Jonathan Crowe

when you don't understand why the local 7-11 does not accept Cybercash.
      - Thomas Bruhn-Pedersen

when all of your closest friends live out of state...or country, and you still talk to them every day.
      - Katja

when you start a RL conv. and want to abbv. yr words.
      - Katja

when you didn't know what your boy/girlfriend looked like until he/she sent you a pic.
      - Katja

when you introduce yourself in RL using your online handle.
      - Katja

when you consider changing your surname to Webber or Webster.
      - Kenneth

when you get a tatoo on your shoulder reading <HTML> or a big @ sign.
      - Kenneth

when you after 1 month find out your girlfriend is actually a big hairy guy with a tattoe on his chest
      - Celic

when you can find the tilde (~) key without looking down.
      - BlackSlax

when you miss out on your mothers birthday because "calendar 97" didn't run
      - Birger

when you have a pyramid of coke cans in you computer room
      - Jeff Fouchard

when you respond to "get a life!" with "what's the URL?"
      - Birger

when you have a hotkey (crtl+alt+something) for every single networking program on your computer.
      - Jeff Daddy

when you're daily to-do list looks like this:

#include <sleep.h>

int main()
for(int i=1; i==10)
return 0;

      - Cam

when you leave a hotel early in the morning, and you walk up to the receptionist and say: "good morning, I would like to logout".
      - Tine

when you give somebody your phonenumber in hexadecimal
      - Peter

when you find yourself preferring the PC-version of 3Ms Post-It! notes.
      - Malte Thorup

when you look at new computers like they were fast cars...
(Oh man look at that: A pentum II 300MHZ with 128MB of ram... man that baby humms...)
      - Jeff Fouchard

when you read microsurfs and want to be just like them
      - Jeff Fouchard

when your wife emails you to say its suppertime and she is sitting in the same room (the spare bedroom with network (personal experience))
      - Crazy Wolf

when you in your worst nightmare wake up all sweaty, and scream: "I WAS KICKED OFF!!!" (belive it or not; It happened to me)
      - Shumway

when you type up conversations with yourself and play them back with a text-to-speech system so you won't feel lonley. Not that *I've* ever done that...
      - Kelly Thomas Wood

when people ask you your favourite colour and you answer "#fce503"
      - Aussie

when you teach your kids to type before they can talk
      - Aussie

when you're more fluent in Java than your native tongue
      - Aussie

when you wake up to the sound of your alarm clock and thinks: - Oh, a bug in my HTML-code, I'll fix it with a SSI-include tomorrow
      - Hannes Tydén

I thought nerds mean someone who's really smart and doesn't like fun or recess.
      - My name is Conni and I'm 12.

when you sit down for an hour trying to think of a nerd joke!
      - Scoffer and Newt

when one finger is much more toned than the rest of your body.
      - Priede

when you wish that other people were equipped with a RS232-port in order to make social communication more fast and easy.
      - Pede

when you ask your date if he/she is Year 2000 Compliant.
      - Michael R. Yeary

when you start drooling while walking through a computer store.
      - Jakote

when you send someone 12,567 e-mails because he beat you out by one dollar at that internet auction for the SCSI CD burner.
      - Jakote

when you'd rather have more dots per inch than miles pr. gallon.
      - Johnny

when you look down on people with low baud rates.
      - Johnny

when you feel confident enough about your knowledge of technology to say "I don't know" to a question, instead of trying to make something up.
      - Johnny

when someone you don't know calls an IDIOT a nerd and you stop to explain to them what a nerd REALLY is.
      - TurtleGeek

when you spend your weekend looking through all the shareware programs on you're new CD-ROM
      - Unbeliever

when you're start-up sound for Windows is a robotic female voice saying, "Allocating system resources... Windows initialized... Log-on procedure successful... Welcome to Windows 95, Unbeliever. Would you like me to make you some coffee ?"
      - Unbeliever

when you're sleeping, then wake up to find one of your friends laughing at you. You then ask why, and they say that you were typing in your dreams and mumbling something about C++.
      - Alpineguy

when the coke can pyramid gets so big that you decide to make it 3-dimensional.
      - Alpineguy

when you at a party see this neanderthal bothering your friend, and tell your friend to do a /ignore
      - Mikkel Krog-Toft

when you have your computer in you bedroom with ethernet w/ internet access across your headboard
      - Rusty Conover

when your at high school typing a paper and you tell the computer to print the document to your printer at home. (yes I *have* done this)
      - Rusty Conover

when you ask your teacher, "Can I have todays lecture in tarred GZip'ed format." And you actually get it in your email.
      - Rusty Conover

when the worst punishment 'your mom can give you is "No going on the internet until you've done your chores!!"
      - Losiniecki

1001 110101 0010011 01101101 110110
110101101 010 01101 01101 11101 ?
0101101 011 01001 1100010 101 !!!
      - Joker

when you actually tried to translate Joker's binary 'You know you're a nerd' entry.... and try to put it to ascii:
{Tab}5{ctrl-S}m6{reverse smiley}{enter}{enter}{ctrl-]} ? -{ctrl-C}9b{ctrl-E} !!!
      - Joshua Newman

when you turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
      - Joker

when tech support calls you for help.
      - Robert Bades

when you greet someone on the street, you tip your head and smile 8-)
      - Robert Bades

when you meet the mail man at the corner and you could swear he said, "You Got Mail!"
      - Robert Bades

when you start writing children's stories that start out ....
      - Robert Bades

when you ask your girlfiend to call you on MS Netmeeting just so you can hear what she sounds like.
      - Robert Bades

when passing the tests for the Navy Nuclear Program were easy but you're afraid you might not make it thru Basic Training(boot camp).
      - Francisco Martinez

when you are asked about the the last movie you saw and you respond 'avi or quicktime?'.
      - Justin

when you ask the clerk in the convenient store for microsoft popcorn, when you want microwave popcorn (I've done that!)
      - Klaus

when you have the local software store on speed dial, but have to look up the number of your parents.
      - Fndrbndr

when you go home for the holidays, you notice that your family upgraded their computer before you notice your new baby brother.
      - Fndrbndr

when you have a personalized license plate made up for your car that has your internic handle (CS3227).
      - Christopher Schulte

when everywhere you go, you could swear the Eudora e-mail notification sound keeps going off.
      - Christopher Schulte

when you take apart the power supply to see why your computer won't turn on, later to realize it was unplugged.

      - Joshua Newman

when your son spells his name, "J-O-R-D-A-N-ENTER" (A friend's Personal Experience).

      - Joshua Newman

when your tombstone reads 'Connection terminated: System has stopped responding.'

      - Jess

when you've got bigger problems making your dinner than your homepage !!

      - Jesus

when you each morning when you've just woke, send an e-mail to your mom, saying you want breakfast.

      - Bo Kristensen

when you tie up your parents phone line with your modem to send reasons why Captain Kirk is better than Captian Picard

      - TheVillageIdiot

when you come late for school in the morning and you excuse is "sorry but I had 45 e-mails in my mailbox".

      - Stefanus Du Toit

when you hear an oven timer buzzing at a friend's house and you say out loud "hmm, someone's dialing up the Internet!" (Personal Experience)

      - Lilepad

when you have a list of ways you can tell if you are a nerd.

      - Jennifer

when you want to end a conversation with someone by acting as if you were holding a mouse and clicking the close button in the top corner.

      - Marques

when in the morning you go to your computer before you go to the bathroom.

      - Britney

when you install the Matrix-quote "Welcome to the real world" as your shutdown system sound to remind you that there's a world outside your pc.

      - Zottl

when you can type a 256 character password in 3.76 seconds flat. (personal experience)

      - Psycotic Farmer

when you can type faster than your friends Random Access Modulator (RAM)

      - The Loonee

When you have so much computer junk in your basement that your friends come to you before they go to the computer store! (This happens to me all the time!)

      - Erroll

When your parent asks you what the weather outside is like, you fly to your computer, punch in, your zip code, and finally answer: It's raining...

      - Ryoko

When you give out your phone number with dots in it (like an IP), not dashes. 1.800.999.9999

      - Kev'

When your diary entries have the tags <ramblings> </ramblings> written in.

      - D00MCabbage

When you enter the classroom, and you're disappointed because there are no {hugs} or *kisses*

      - F-ed

When your friends call you between 7 in the evening and 09:00 in the morning, because that's the only time you're awake.

      - F-ed

If you actually found this site and read through everyone of these comments.

      - Jamie

If your mom asks you where you put the cookies and you say you deleted them.

      - Jamie

When you can type 95 words per minute with two fingers.

      - MGP1243

When your first language is a programming language.

      - mage_man

When the only sport you play is frisbee with AOL CDs.

      - KPU

When your download your personality into your computer and it takes up one bit.

      - Treb God

When you define a senior citizen as someone that programs in Integer Basic.

      - MGP1243

When your computer accepts voice commands in Hex

      - KPU

When you ask the computer to calculate your life and it responds Error: Division by zero. Abort?, Retry?, Fail?

      - Kevin the Dren

When your computer crashes and you are paralyzed from the neck down

      - KPU

When you are multilingual and the only non-computer language you speak is Klignon

      - Treb God

When you wish people were ODBC compliant.

      - KPU

When you have a PIII 'intel inside' sticker on your toilet and you seriously consider putting some RAM into it.. and maybe an network cable...

      - icantfeelmylegs

Thank you all for your contributions!